meriibunny's Xanga

WOMAN MAKE ME A SANDWICH

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:56:58 GMT

That's what Xanga is trying to say on its frontpage right about now.

Seriously.

That's Xanga's message to women. Scrub 'em good!
By the way, I was messing with my tablet and made that.

Every time I check on Xanga, I always see at least one misogynistic post on the front. Maybe it's just bad timing, but it's still something. The site is screaming at me: "Women are stupid, trying to say that they've been suffering from prejudice and sexism. Women are annoying little idiots. I can't stand women."

Chill out, Xanga. Have a pill.

There. Now we're better.

Basically what I'm seeing is a bunch of stupid generalizations about the female population. Some of these generalizations coming from females themselves. Now, I have no problem with having opinions and such, but...people...I hope you realize that this is a public site, and although it's "just the internet," your post would still cause you to be beaten up and shot if you restated what you typed in the real world.

Please, people, think twice before you post some woman-hating weblog. A kitten dies every time you do that. I don't care for kittens, but I'm sure other people do. Like Nori. She likes ruining porn with them.

But really. At least consider other people's dignities.

Update on life and other unimportant things

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:33:07 GMT

I've recently realized that I haven't been updating on my life often. Maybe it's because I have no life. I don't know.

Anyway, I got sick from standing outside for 45min in subzero weather. It wasn't a pleasant experience, I tell ya. My toes were frozen and numb, and I was limping for awhile.

The bright side is that I've finally ordered a graphics tablet. God only knows whether I'll actually use it, but I'm excited nonetheless. Maybe I'll finally make progress on my artwork. Speaking of which, I haven't finished a piece since...summer. Which I say is pretty sad.

I like trying not to log onto Xanga for as long as possible. I'm always drawn back sooner or later, though. Bleh. I have to update more often. I should write a post on that.

Yay, my nose got unclogged.

[/end mediocre post.]

My little controversial post

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:12:16 GMT

This post will be filled with amazingly controversial material, because everyone else is doing and I wanna be cool like them. Just kidding, I don't have to do that to be cool. I already am cool. I define cool.

Mr. Ice-cube says that he thinks meriibunny is the coolest person alive.

Anyway, here are my very controversial things that I believe in.

1. Brown eyes are better than blue eyes

Yeah, I just said it, bitch. I just defied society. Brown eyes > blue eyes. Brown eyes are all mysterious and smoky and marvelous. Blue eyes are just lacking in melanin.

This is also partially because I myself have brown eyes. They're actually closer to black, but I still consider them brown. I call it, "Asian black."

I am not biased.

2. Honey Nut Cheerios = Best cereal

I don't care WHAT you say. Honey Nut Cheerios are the bomb diggity. They're so versatile, and go with every outfit. They also taste good with or without milk. You can make necklaces with them, and put them on your forehead to make yourself look like you have a really cool bindi. But it's not a bindi. So you fail.

Oh, and their iconic symbol is a cool talking honey bee. If bees were like that IRL then I wouldn't be so scared of them. I'd warmly embrace them, like Jesus to the world.

Yum.

3. Piercings are so overrated

They are! I can't even get into how piercings are overrated. I only have two piercings: one on each ear. And guess what? They're such a hassle. And they're only on my earlobes. Imagine piercings all over. *shudders* That's a lot of rubbing alcohol.

Tattoos are meh. I don't really like them that much. People used to say that I'd definitely get a tattoo one day because I used to draw on myself all the time. Well, you people are wrong. If I got a tattoo, I wouldn't be able to draw on myself on that spot. So ha.

It's sexy, no?

4. The USA is the best nation in the world

Because I'm in it.

*booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere*

5. Your opinions are stupid

Your opinions are worthless in my eyes? Why? Because they're not mine. And also because I don't like them. My opinions are actually facts. They're that good. Which is why you should make me your fashion consultant, so that I can tell you how hideously fat you look in your new outfit or something.

Ditch that dress quick, girlfriend.

Did you suffer a massive heart attack from reading that? If not, check out this post.

Payce.

My Scariest Nightmare - The Uninvited Contest

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:21:08 GMT

I saw this on John's page, and was like lul. Then I went onto the Xanga front page, and it was all dark and scary. Then I clicked on the side and it brought me to this thing that said I could win stuff. I don't even remember what.Well honestly, I don't care about the prize. I don't want to see this shitty movie. I'm doing this all for John. <33333333 (chode)

My scariest dream must have been when I was a young'un. (A young child, for all you perfect English speakers, pshaw!) It was probably the scariest dream that has ever occured in anyone's mind. It was so disturbing that I am now mentally impaired. Not really, but I like to think of it as that.

I was holding onto one of the steps of my staircase, with one hand. It was a frightening distance below me. The whole house was dark, but I could still make out my surroundings. I looked up and saw something looking at me. Something horrific and terrible, something that nobody should ever have to look at unwillingly.

It was a pumpkin.

A pumpkin, with its face carved out, forming a malicious smile. It said, "Come with me."

I resisted. "No, no, no," I thought. It was to no avail. The pumpkin continued to smile as it loomed over me.

"Do it. Do it."

"No!"

"If you don't, I'll make you fall."

I thought about his threat. This was a pumpkin. It could surely make me fall to my death. "Fine," I said. The pumpkin, never faltering in its smile, helped me up the stairs. It then led me to my bathroom.

It was still very dim, but somehow, the room had a sort of blue lighting. It was bigger, too. I looked around. Everywhere, there were animals. I distinctly saw an alligator, in a bathtub, I think. Then, I noticed, it was sort of like a hospital. A first aid kid lay on the floor. The animals were evil, as was the pumpkin. I froze.

Then, the dream changed. I was now watching a scene. In my bathroom, Madeline and her friends were all hanging around. Most of the girls were in my tub, rowing along. Madeline wanted them to stop. Then, a girl, Chloe I think, said, "I want some hot chocolate."

Suddenly, the girls' faces started to morph and melt. They stared up at Madeline, who was also morphing and melting. They were all hideous. Hideous little French orphans, staring at each other, smiling. Always smiling.

I woke up, in the middle of the night, scared. Traumatized. For three more days, I couldn't think of anything else but that dream. Which, in my opinion, is the scariest dream evar. The scariest nightmare. In the world.

I have never been the same ever since.

I just blogged about my scariest nightmare to enter The Uninvited Scariest Nightmare Contest for 1,000 credits. You can earn free credits too! Brought to you by The Uninvited - In Theaters January 30th.

LOL did you just read that? Way to advertise your product on my blog. Ha. I was about to change it, but then again, that'd probably void my entry. Agh. It sounds like a crappy movie, anyway.

PS: ily john lolzzzz!!!!111

1/7/09 9:28 PM

Look forward to THIS, 2009! Ha.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:57:24 GMT

You know how thinspo is thinspiration for people looking to become skinny? I just found out about it. It's intriguing, really...looking at skeletons really does make me lose my appetite.

But, anyway...I was thinking...how about the other way around? What if one wanted to gain weight? You know, put on a few extra pounds here and there. Or everywhere. You know what I mean.

Introducing Fatspo. Fatspo is short for fatspiration. It's inspiration for people who want to look American...er, heavy. Why would you want to be heavy? Well, I don't actually know, but it doesn't seem fair to have a thinspiration without a fatspiration. It's a balance. *gong*

So, I present to you, a bunch of Fatspo images that you can totally download to your computer/print out/tattoo onto yourself in order to remind yourself to get fat, gain weight, eat, etc.

Richard Simmons would not be pleased.

This is a meal from McDonald's. Notice the detail of the bun, the juicy meat, the melted cheese. Oh, and there are fries, too? Oh my Scientology, I can almost taste that delicious crispiness already. And Coca Cola, too. A refreshing, mouthwatering combination. OH MY SCIENTOLOGY. AAHH! SOMEONE GET ME TO A MCDONALD'S RIGHT AWAY.

This, my friends, is a delicious ice cream banana split sundae. Yes. Imagine how that would taste in your mouth. Creamy ice cream of a variety of flavors, two ripe bananas, fresh strawberries, chocolaty fudge, nuts, and a big red cherry to top it all off. Also, there seems to be some yellow goo in there that I'm not quite sure what it could be, but that's not important. Look at the ice cream. Look at it. I know you want it.

Do you see that meat roasting? Do you see it? Now you crave it, ha. Mmm, feel those juices running down your chin as you bite into a sausage. Taste that smokiness trapped within two buns and a layer of ketchup. Do you hear that growling? That's your stomach, telling you to get out of the house, get a grill, and start grilling.

OMGOMGOMG what is that?! Those are nachos, dipped in cheese. Melted cheese, it seems. The saltiness of the nachos goes perfectly with that creamy, hot cheese. Mmm. Me gusta mucho.

RIBS RIBS RIBS. Gah I can't take it anymore. I must eat something. I mean, look at that. Mouthwatering meat with delicious sauce, marinaded to perfection. Slightly burnt, mmm. My tastebuds would tap that. Brownie points for those sneaky fries in the background.

Speaking of brownies...brownies! Who doesn't like a delicious fudge brownie? Chocolaty goodness, my my. They're like cute little cakes, aww. Cute little cakes ready to be eaten. And raped by my stomach.

Hey, is that...steak? And Shrimp? And broccoli? And steak? And wine? And a plate? And steak? Can this get any better? Look at that juicy steak...those juicy shrimps. Waiting to be eaten. Mmm. Tasty. *licks lips*

Chinese food! Orange chicken to be exact. It looks really juicy, doesn't it? Especially with that slice of orange right next to it. Ha, how creative. Yum. Juicy...and crunchy. With sesame sprinkled all over it. How exotic and Asian. Maybe if I eat more of it, I'll turn Chinese. Mmm mmm mmm. *salivates on your mother*

After all of this, what you should be able to accomplish is this:

Godspeed.

PS: If you have any links of enticing foods, you can post it and I'll include it.
1/4/09 11:08 PM

My Time at Sin City

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:11:16 GMT

I have been away from home for a few days. Why? Las Vegas, durrr.

Yes, Las Vegas, Nevada, located somewhere in America near the big rocks that are really pretty if you stare at them long enough. The place with a thousand casinos and blinking lights. The place they call, "Sin City."

You know why they call it Sin City? Because it sucks. (Okay, it doesn't really suck suck, but I'm just sayinnnn'.) It sucks so much that they should call it a shitty. A shit city. Hmm.

Anyways. Why'd it suck so badly, Merii? Why would you say such a thing?! Why?!
Because I want to, that's why. And also because it was meh.
Here's a list of stuff that sucked about Las Vegas.

1. The Casinos

Yeah yeah, Las Vegas is all about the casinos! Fuck you. I hate casinos. I will never willingly step into one ever again. Why's that? Because they're pointless and stupid. Plus everyone smokes in there, and it's unbearable.

Really now, if you want to waste money, you should donate your life savings to me. With your money, I would establish a new country named "Not-Las-Vegas" and everyone would move there.

OM NOM NOM NOM SECOND HAND SMOKE

2. The Smoke

I'm sorry if this offends you, but I hate it when people smoke; especially indoors. Now, I live in New York, where I get a fair share of second hand smoke. But it's nothing compared to the smoke in Vegas. Holy crap, that shit is everywhere. People smoke indoors, outdoors, on doors...it's like a never-ending nightmare of smoke.

When I was little, I used to like the smell of smoke. A bit weird, I'll admit. Whenever I saw someone smoking, I'd jump up and down, trying to smell it. Then I got educated and stopped liking the smell of smoke. I'm afraid I don't try to smell smoke anymore. I still jump up and down, though.

But back to the point. Jeez, the smoke is overwhelming there. And I went to Las Vegas in December, when it wasn't that hot and humid and stuff. I'd hate to imagine the city in the summer, with people smoking and...rawr. My brain cells are committing seppuku at the moment.

This is what they do in Las Vegas.

3. The Ads

You'll know you're in Vegas when you see the advertisements. You know when you're driving on the highway and you see those occasional signs with white girls showing off their boob jobs? In Las Vegas, that stuff is everywhere.

Want free porn? Look down at the streets. Cards advertising "Hot Babes" litter the streets, the sidewalks, everywhere. All day, there are men and women clicking the cards and holding them up to random people. And when I say all day, I mean all day. From morning to night. I wonder if they ever get a break. Eh, at least they get free pr0n.

True story.

4. The Douchebags

Basically everywhere you go, there will be a douchebag. But I noticed a lot of douchebaggery in Las Vegas. One example would be when an old man bumped into me. I apologized quickly, but then, the unthinkable happened.

He shook his head at me.

What the hell was that? I blinked in amazement. He bumped into me and he has the nerve to shake his head at me! What an ass. I hope he dies alone in a sack.

There were more examples of douchebaggery that I had ready, but they've scarred me too deeply; every time I think of it, it's like ripping open a wound over and over again. So I'm afraid you'll be missing out. (Not like anyone actually reads this, anyway.)

Yeah well, you too, grandpa. *runs away crying*

5. High Prices

I don't know about other places, but usually, thin shirts with bow ties don't go for over 50 bucks...never mind over 300. In Las Vegas, though, this is apparantly the norm. I was having miniature heart attacks just looking at the tags. Jesus Christ.

Food was expensive, too. I mean, really. Bottled water for $3.00?! Soda for $2.50?! Please. I've seen much lower. Again, I don't know about where YOU live. But where I do, it sure as hell isn't that much.

"Yeah, well, you know how much it costs to breathe here?!"

Well, that's pretty much it. Of course, there were ups and downs, but nobody likes reading how awesome it is to walk up and down a crowded street, taking pictures, so I'll leave it at this.

Folks, don't go to Las Vegas unlesss you really want to blow your money or look at really big rocks or get ripped off or want free porn.

Now, back to talking to myself. Tee tee why el.

1-3-09 7:59 PM

Vote for my idea!

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:20:27 GMT

Description: Xanga is a very diverse blogging community. However, it is hard to find blogs to read, other than the more "popular" blogs on the front page. Why not have a feature on the front page that randomly generates blogs for you to read? Sort of like the features on YouTube, like "Recommended for You," or just a random process that pulls out random blogs for you to read. That way, more people can be discovered and read.

Vote for it here: http://www.xanga.com/ideas/438/discoveringnewblogseasierandfaster.html

Please and thanks :D
Recommend if you'd like.

Life Advice

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 05:06:03 GMT

This is my life advice.

Okay, not really "life advice." I haven't lived long enough to be giving out "life advice." But one can try, no?
Here are a bunch of things that I have observed from many years looking out of windows.

1. Write a post about advice.

If you are a blogger, you have to write a post about some sort of advice, whether it be on dating, life, religion, etc. Especially on dating. Dating Asian people, specifically. You can't not give advice; people who don't give advice = selfish bitches.

Let me repeat that equation. People who don't give advice = selfish bitches. Keep that in mind, for it is the most important advice of all.

Advice topics:
-Relationships
-Friend zoning
-Asian girls and how they like/don't like white boys
-Asian guys and how they're insecure and emo
-The best way to cook a baby
-What topic people should post to get featured
-Music preference/religion (these two are the same)

Nope, but you could always blog about it!

2. Don't send chain mails.

Do not send chain mails to people, unless they are genuinely funny. Which they aren't, because it's chain mail.
Chain mail makes people scream and throw chairs at their windows and bash their heads against barbed wire. I know this from experience. Wanna know how I got these scars on my face? That's how.

Scars are serious business.

Chain mails also make no sense, and inject pain and hatred into people's hearts. It clutters inboxes and if you send chain mail, expect a sudden decrease of friends 24hrs after you hit that send button.

Chain mails that are particularly annoying:
-Religious chain mails
-Chains telling you to keep the Christ in Christmas
-Chains with pictures of ugly dogs
-Chains with pictures of ugly animals
-Chains with pictures of ugly people
-Chains with superstitious crap
-Chain mail with conspiracy theories
-Chains with so much shit that it makes your computer freeze

This is the average chain mail-sending jerk-off. Screw you.

3. Don't develop an addiction/bad habit

This applies for many things in life. Don't develop an addiction or a bad habit. If you do, you'll regret it. Addictions are fun, but after awhile, you'll have to quit, and quitting sure as hell isn't fun. Bad habits aren't fun to have, but you still have to get rid of them. If you already have an addiction, I suggest you give it up immediately, before it's too late. Addictions are time consuming and wasteful. If you have any bad habits, which I'm sure you do, I suggest you stop it or go die in a fire.

Addictions that you may need to get rid of:
-World of Warcraft
-Talking to yourself
-Eating babies
-Cocaine/chalk
-Xanga (sorry)
-Fast food 24/7, 365
-Fake Chinese food
-Asian girls

No matter what people say, WoW = drugs

4. Date someone nice

Dating is very complicated. Then again, if you don't understand dating, you're an idiot. So my best advice to you is to date somebody that's nice. Nice as in someone who actually likes you, and isn't using you for your money/resources. It's that simple. Don't date someone who seems like he/she possesses a chainsaw that's carefully hidden away in his/her basement. Likewise, don't date someone who is clearly looking at your wallet, drooling.

If you're stuck in some kind of awful relationship, I say you dump the person, right after reading this. What? You want to give them another chance? Fine by me. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, I told you so. Oh how I love the world.

If you're stuck in a horrible relationship with a murderous partner, I urge you to switch to Verizon and have the network to back you up. Or just call the cops. Or move away to a steamy tropical island filled with hot man-women. Your choice.

More stuff about dating that's useful:
-When all else fails, go Asian
-Don't be an antisocial idiot
-Be careful
-Pretend to be rich to get hot women
-Carry a taser just in case.
-Don't follow dating advice

Gimme moar aznnnnn!

5. Don't spoil your kids

Kids are annoying. Yes, we were all kids once. And I'll bet that everyone secretly groaned behind your back, rolled their eyes, and whispered, "Oh my Scientology, kids these days are SO SPOILED." Well, times haven't changed. Kids these days are horrendous. They make me sick whenever I look at them, screaming and tugging at their mother's side, pointing at some stupid phone and spreading their disgusting germs. You don't want that kind of kid.

So, how do you prevent your [future] children from turning into this vermin? It's a complicated process. First, you must journey to the mountains somewhere in Asia. After scaling the cliffs, you have to find a crevice in the rocks. When you do, make it bigger, and crawl in. Inside, you will find a levitating Chinese man with a long, white beard. He will tell you to sit down in front of him, and will tell you the secrets of child upbringing.

Now, I have connections; I know people. One day, my good friend had made this very journey. Right after he came back, I ran up to him and asked, "What happened? What did you find out? How was it?" He looked at me for a good 10 seconds.

"Hit your kids," he said. That was it. The answer was so simple that I could hardly believe it. All you need to do is hit your kids. This way, they won't dare think of disobeying you. Induce fear into your little ones. Scared kids = tools in your hands. Perfect for activities such as world domination.

Other things that are useful and about children:
-Teach your children at home so that they'll be smarter than everyone else
-Never give your kid what they're demanding
-Threaten to give your kids up for adoption if they ever dare to disobey you
-Embarrass your children in front of their friends
-If they misbehave, eat them.

Don't worry, Mommy won't hit you with the whip TOO hard.

6. Don't get drunk too often

Being drunk isn't fun. That is, to me it isn't. I mean, if you really want to do stupid things you'd never want to do while sober/contract a dangerous STD/make children, we might need to call a mental institution. Then again, if you really want to, there's no stopping ya. But I'm just saying.

Other products of being drunk:
-Waking up in dark alleyways with no clothes on
-Having unknown people on your contacts list
-Throwing up
-Violent break-ups/divorce
-Repopulating a planet
-Career in prostitution

This doesn't look too healthy.

7. Don't worry about it

This is the deepest piece of advice I will ever give to you. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what others think about you because most likely, they aren't even thinking about you anyway. Don't worry about it. Try to enjoy your life as much as possible; if you don't, improve it. Don't worry about it. And most of all, don't worry about impressing anyone except for yourself, your in-laws, and me. But especially me.

So yeah, this is my long list of advice. Pass it on to your friends, or keep it to yourself. Whatever floats your boat. Or tickles your pickle. Or...I give up.

Your mom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvJO6W7MFMI

December 21, 2008, 10:12PM

Merii contemplates.

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:38:40 GMT

You know, with all the featured content being about self reflection and shit...it really makes you think.

I was reading healthkicker blogs and stumbled upon one about telling people to stop caring about fatness or thinness. Now, at the time I was reading, I was very pissed off (personal things). So, I scrolled down to the comment section and typed, "I don't give a shit."

My mouse pointer hovered over the submit button for a second. And then I pressed ctrl+w. I decided not to post that comment. Know why? I don't. Maybe because I decided to be a bigger person than that. Not literally a bigger person (how coincidental that I was on healthkicker while speaking of bigger people), but you know what I mean. Or maybe my conscience kicked in.

Don't fuck yourself over!

Probably a combination of both. I have an evil conscience that tells me that I'm being a bit mean-spirited quite often. Sometimes I'm rude. Sometimes I'm mean for no reason. Sometimes I'm extremely sarcastic and hurt people. But then my son of a gun conscience kicks in and tells me, "No, that's wrong. That's a stupid stupid thing you're doing and you're an idiot. Go kill yourself now with a samurai sword and let me never speak to you again."
Naturally that makes me feel bad, and I feel like the lowest scum of the Earth. Then I apologize and feel better and gloat to myself about my good judgement skills.

Then I have this "I have to be the bigger person" mindset. Whenever I get into arguments, I like to think of the best way to end it. I usually try not to get into too much trouble by reasoning instead of being an asshole. It's fun to think about it, how I'm better than everyone else.

I think I'm growing into a much more calmer person. Well, on the outside, that is. Inside is all violent thoughts of eating babies and watching reality television (reality television is synonymous with suicide). But it's the outside that counts...yes, that's right. I said it. The outside counts because that's what people see. Nobody's going to look inside you and compliment you on your wonderful feelings and how pink your organs are. Nope. Take that, Xanga.

Shove that down your deep thinking throats!

So, yeah. I think I'm beautiful, inner beauty counts, I love myself, I'm so fat gosh NOT kthxbai.

The Santa Mystery

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 22:52:50 GMT

My online experience went on as usual. I logged onto AIM, read some articles, looked at stuff from Digg, went into chatrooms, the usual. Then, I decided to check the front page of Xanga. Top blogs, of course, since that's where everybody is. I spot a blog by TheBigShowAtUD. Here is the link: link

The blog was entertaining, as usual. I chuckled to myself as I scrolled down the page, reading the words with amusement. Until I saw the last two lines.

"Rabbits don't lay eggs, but ol' St. Nick has hoes.

Three of em."

Wait wait wait. What? Santa Claus has hoes? What do you mean by "hoes"?
Now, usually, I don't get this riled up, but come on. Santa? Hoes? I thought Santa was a good Christian man full of virtue and love. A real Revelife rolemodel.

But no Revelifer would have hoes. Or would they?

You see, the word "hoe" has two meanings: the farmer's tool and the prostitute. Then again, they are basically the same thing if you think about it...but I digress.

If it were the farmer's tool type of hoe, I wouldn't mind. Sure, Santa has hoes...in his garden shed next to his Christmas Workshop. I wouldn't imagine how he would be using those hoes, seeing how his Christmas Workshop is located in the North Pole...but who knows? It's Santa. He does things.

If it were the other type of hoe...well, I guess they would still be in the garden shed next to his Christmas Workshop. Where else would he put them? Not with Mrs. Claus in the house, and certainly not in the Workshop somewhere. We have to think of the children and the plethora of innocent elves working below minimum wage unwittingly.

But...although I wouldn't want to interfere with Santa's personal life, I still think that him having three prostitutes is wrong. Adultery is bad, kids. Say no to it, no matter how tempting it is. You would think Santa Claus, of all people, would know this. Shame on you, Santa. Shame.

So, I ask you, Xanga, to answer this question. Which hoe is it?

The garden kind...

Or the OTHER kind...

Art done by yours truly on MS Paint with a touchpad.
12-5-08 9:43PM

Recommend if you want to. You should want to.